The Oscars are tomorrow? Super!

The Oscars are tomorrow, and by now you've heard my picks, critics' picks and even a dog's picks. But you know whose opinions haven't been heard yet? Superheroes', that's whose! After exhaustive research, I am happy to be able to present which of the nominees some of our caped friends would be rooting for:

Superman

Lincoln: A story about defending men's rights and freedoms that has a classical sort of prestige to it and features a character "clothed with immense power" struggling to balance doing the right thing without overstepping his bounds. Gee, I wonder why that sounds familiar...

Guy Gardner (Green Lantern)

Django Unchained: You just know that Guy Gardner's a big Tarrantino fan. Stylized and excessive violence with some surprising hidden depths? Toss in a dose of historcial justice and you've got yourself a winner!

Batman, the goddamn

Silver Linings Playbook: Sure Bruce was snarking at all of the plot contrivances. But underneath the cowl he's nodding in approval at Pat committing to his own sort of process and therapy as a means of getting past a tragedy. Plus, even after dealing with Arkham inmates for years there's a part of Bruce that still wants to believe Playbook's message that the mentally disturbed can get better.

Spider-Man

Argo: It's a slick, funny, and well-made thriller, and Peter Parker's just the type to geek out about which parts are historically accurate and which aren't. It's a film where trickery and smarts win out. And it's a film where, after years of annomynity, the hero eventually gets to be credited for his good works.

Captain America

Zero Dark Thirty: A movie about precision, dedication, and avenging America against those who strike at it. Cap won't agree with everything he sees in the film, but he'd be fascinated by it all the same.

Ralph Dibny (Elongated Man)

Amour: For one thing, Ralph's one of the few heroes who would actually go see a two-and-a-half hour foreign film. But he's also the hero who'd most appreciate the depth of love on display here, and sadly be best able to recognize how losing a loved one can shatter a world.

Aquaman

Life of Pi: This movie's about as ocean-centric as you'll get in a film not directed by James Cameron. Besides, Arthur Curry has a soft spot for anything that, despite technically being a contender, is mostly forgotten and overlooked by everyone.

Captain Marvel

Beasts of the Southern Wild: Child with a sense of optimism and wonder and a maturity beyond her age? Check. Building a community/family unit around oneself? Check. Magic? Check-ish. If Billy Batson actually saw Beasts he'd relate to it in an instant.

Wolverine

Les Miserables: Just like Jean Valjean, Logan is constantly troubled by his past, has a nasty habit of women dying on him, and tends to take young girls under his wing. While he didn't personally fight in the French Revolution, Wolverine's taken up arms in pretty much any other conflict you can think of and given his anti-authority bent it's pretty clear he isn't rooting for the bourgeois. Really the resemblance is uncanny...